Part-time Lover

Distance.

Distance is a numerical description of how far apart objects are. In physics or everyday usage, distance may refer to a physical length, or an estimation based on other criteria (e.g. “two counties over”). For this post, we will stay focused on the given example.

In my case, it’s more like 14 countries over, as Europe tends to be a quite dense place. Although, with a flight slightly over 3 hours (my daily one way London home-work commute takes about an hour) there not much to complain about. Except missing out on all the little details that make you or break you.

Just in case you haven’t understood anything because of my endless rant, the nature of my first blog post evolves right round the magical essence of the long distance relationships. More specifically, about mine.

Of course, my approach is not to talk of it, like a neighbours’ daily small talk, but rather lay down all the thought derivatives that come out of my experience of it. That’s the point of telling a story, right?

So, let’s start with the bad side.

If you fancy sad goodbyes, regular flights, sleep deprivation (blame time zone difference for that), endless typing that flirts with tendonitis every day, dealings with long lines in the post office or burning ears from hours of Viber calls, then you are in the right place. If you’re also keen on pointless jealously, misinterpreted texts and uncontrollable irritation by the smallest of things, its your lucky day. Go out and start a long distance relationship right now! The first 20 to apply get a bonus month of zero intercourse and a premium webcam for HD love moments with your other half.

In other words, the general picture is noticeably grim. It can get sad, pointless, nerve racking and can upset even the calmest of us.

Now though, let’s move to the brighter side of the 50 shades of grey. Let us reflect on the things that you might never consider before you meet one of these foul creatures that go under the name LDR aka long distance relationship. They tend to have a pretty nice personality once you’ve manage to escape their claws and fangs.

Their most important gift is that they get you to learn. And you learn a lot. You learn about you and about you (plural). You stretch and you reshape and you constantly probe your limits. You become comfortable with places way out your comfort zone. You evolve. Essentially, things that might sound constraining are the ones that help you become…well, a better you. The hours of waiting make you patient. They also give you a better perception on the gravity of any given moment. You get to multiply your appreciation, first between you two and then you learn to apply that to all around you. You learn to plan. It’s one of the fundamental factors for success in a long distance relationship. Get organised, plan ahead, daydream and arrange your time properly so you can make it happen. Set milestones. If that’s not a great life skill, then I don’t know what is. Last but not least, you learn to commit. Mentally, physically and in all possible ways. Pick something and really go for it. Make things happen.

I might sound like an optimist or excessively romantic but I do try to be pragmatic and in a sense, academic.

Conclusion. I wrap up my little article, also my first one, dedicating it to Mrs. C, the main reason for finally publishing this blog. Over the last 18 months, I’ve learned quite a few things and here’s my advice. If you really enjoy something, if it really gets you going, keep it and work for it. Find ways to adapt, to overcome and to achieve. The long distance relationship was only an example. A subject on which I nowadays consider my self very proficient but all these things apply everywhere. Learn and become better. Very few things in life get to be very fulfilling and when you find one make sure you give your proper attention to it.

Aim for 100%. Don’t become another part-time lover, even when you find yourself miles away from what you want.

Thank you C.

The Renaissance Man

P.S. : And here’s the song that I find appropriate.

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